Why Can't I Work?

It seems like every time I get a new job I can only keep it for roughly 4-6 months, after that point I get burnt out and shut down to my work duties. This happened to me recently with a job I would consider pretty important. I was working with developmentally disabled adults in a group home setting and I'm the type of person where my job duties need to be in black and white otherwise I take on all I can possibly take one, which would explain my burn out so early after starting a job. Recently at a company I was working for I had some problems with gossiping too much and fixating on one co-worker who just got under my skin no matter what she did.

I just don't think I'm cut out for the working world although I don't like staying at home with the kids either. I like the idea of working, I like the idea of getting extra money and I like the idea of not being tied down to the house but are those likes worth my mental health? I've been asking myself this question lately and I'm stuck in this fantasy world that I can function in a professional environment. But I can't, I can't even follow through with my day to day commitments like helping my kindergartner with his homework. He was 4 months behind and by a miracle during this last ice storm we managed to get everything done. I have a hard time following through with cleaning my house, managing my money, returning phone calls, keeping appointment, oh I think that list could go on for a while.

At the moment I'm terrified of confronting my boss to tell her that I have to quit, I haven't shown up for work for a week and she called me yesterday. I mean how do I explain that I have a mental illness that effects every minute of my life and I was working with disabled adults. I feel terrible but I can't muster up the guts to call her back, I don't know what to say or even how to explain, I think she would understand my situation considering the line of work she is in but I just can't get over this utterly embarrassed feeling I have. I feel guilty, embarrassed and I let myself down. I'm letting those who are closest to me down.

This has been a hard week....